For those of you who read my blog, it's out there, you know about Jackson. You read first hand my take on this experience. But there's another side of the story. A whole other side. Other parents. Other peers. Namely at Jackson's school. I'm not sure anyone there knows except his teachers and some staff. As for the rest of the gang in his class... not so much (I don't think). Is there a right time to tell? How do I tell? Do I even tell? Will it spawn whispers in the corner? No. That's not what I'm worried about. I'm not really worried at all actually. And I don't think anyone will judge him at all. But it's not like I can send home cute monogramed postcards to all the kids to deliver the message either. (Can you even imagine getting that message on a postcard???)
The golden questions still remains. How do I bring them in on the situation? I have mentioned before that we have every intention on Jackson staying at his school so long as he is accepted, progressing at a good pace for him and successful. I think he will be. But with that, part of his success depends on the people he is around, his peers. He spends just as much time with his school mates as he does with us, so it's important that everyone knows. Not because its a reason to treat him any differently, just more so they can understand him and be part of our support team, just as we support all the other kids the same way. I know other parents have to see his differences. But maybe they don't either. Just when I think someone might get a hint, I can't be sure. And taking a step back to put things in perspective (I do that a lot these days), if I were in their shoes and I noticed anything, I wouldn't know what to say or ask. Honestly, I probably wouldn't even want to ask for a fear of upsetting someone's feelings or sticking my nose where it doesn't belong.
I have learned through this entire process that we all react differently to things that affect us both directly and indirectly. And that's ok. I used to be so quick to judge and think that people didn't understand or get what I was trying to tell them, which is hard to admit. The truth is, they didn't react the way I wanted them to. Cue the perspective... hello Ericka! It's not about how YOU want people to react. It's about allowing other people to take in information and process it for themselves and accept that people need time to be accepting on their own terms. Can we say Oprah Ah-ha moment!?!
My mission now is to connect the dots. Connect Jackson's autism to the other parents and students at Jackson's school and understand that it's going to take time and a whole slew of "reactions" before everyone can fully understand. Of course I think we will be supported, of course I think they will still love my sweet Jackson just the same, but Jackson also affects the other students as well. It's not all just about Jackson. I have to think about that. I don't mean that in a negative way at all. He will teach them and they will teach him. But there will be times that he will not have the same reactions to his peers. There will be times he gets frustrated with his school work and may act out. There may be times he will be overwhelmed and need a sensory break. How do I know that? Because I we have been there, done that, got the t-shirt folks.
Although I'm still not sure how it will all "come out" to everyone I'll just take it one step at a time. I'm going to talk to the school and maybe reach out to some support groups for advice and ask other parents who have been down the same road as us. I'm also open and all ears to anyone with advice on this. As my little monkey teaches me something new every day, he has definitely taught me to think outside the box of acceptance and comprehension. No one ever goes from A to B the same way, we take our own path and share our experiences with each other. That's how we learn, that's how we process, that's what makes us who we are.
~EM
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